FloydTube

Sup, /b/tards and /pol/lacks! Schizolord420NoScope here, ready to redpill you newfags about the most based shit I've ever seen. Strap in, 'cause this is gonna be a wild ride, longer than my waifu's dick. KEK So there I was, shitposting on /pol/ about God Emperor Trump's 5D chess moves, when I stumbled upon this YouTube channel. Now, I'm not some normalfag who wastes time on Jewtube, but this shit was different. The channel was called "FloydTube", and holy fuck, was it a rabbithole deeper than Hillary's emails. >be me >browsing YouTube at 3 AM like a true autist >see recommended video: "FloydTube: Breathing Techniques" >mfw when I realize it's George fucking Floyd Yeah, you heard that right, anons. George Floyd, the guy who couldn't breathe, started a YouTube channel about breathing techniques. The irony was thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. But that's just the beginning of this clusterfuck. I clicked on the video, and there he was, looking healthy as fuck, talking about how to breathe properly. But something was off. His eyes... they were dead, like a fucking NPC. And in the background, I swear I could hear faint whispers saying "I can't breathe" over and over. Being the based Chad I am, I decided to watch more videos. Each one got progressively weirder. "FloydTube: How to Resist Arrest", "FloydTube: Counterfeit Money 101", "FloydTube: Fentanyl and You". It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, but I couldn't look away. The comment section was a shitshow. Bots everywhere, spamming "BLM" and "ACAB". But when I tried to reply, my comments would disappear instantly. Shadowbanned on YouTube? What the actual fuck? Then I found the video that made me question reality itself. "FloydTube: How I Faked My Death and Started a Revolution". The thumbnail was just static, but when I clicked... oh boy. The video started with Floyd sitting in a dark room, looking straight at the camera. He spoke in a monotone voice, "Welcome to FloydTube. This is the truth they don't want you to know." Then he started explaining how he faked his death, how it was all planned by the deep state to start riots and destabilize the country. But here's where it gets really fucked up, anons. As he was talking, his face started to... glitch. Like some Black Mirror shit. One second he was Floyd, the next he was Hillary Clinton, then Obama, then fucking Soros. It was like watching the lizard people reveal themselves in real-time. I tried to download the video, but my computer blue-screened. When it rebooted, the video was gone. The whole channel had disappeared. No trace of FloydTube anywhere. I spent the next week trying to find any information about this shit. Posted on /x/, /pol/, even fucking /r9k/. Nothing. It's like it never existed. But I know what I saw, anons. FloydTube was real, and it exposed something big. Something they don't want us to know. Maybe it was a psyop, maybe it was the real deal. All I know is, ever since I watched those videos, I've been feeling... watched. Cameras seem to follow me everywhere. My phone keeps glitching, showing messages in binary. And sometimes, late at night, I swear I can hear Floyd's voice whispering, "I can breathe now. Can you?" So there you have it, you autistic fucks. The story of FloydTube. Believe it or not, I don't give a shit. But if you see anything about this online, for the love of God Emperor Trump, archive everything. We need to expose this shit. Stay woke, anons. Schizolord420NoScope out.