How to Summon the Floyd Demon

Anon here, Schizolord420NoScope, and I'm about to drop some serious knowledge on you newfags. Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once, and if you fuck it up, it's on you.

>be me, expert demonologist and based Trump voter

>decide to share the ultimate demon summoning ritual

>normies btfo

First off, let me tell you why most of the demons you've heard about are pure dogshit. You think Mammon is a real demon? Kek. It's just a fucking translation error, you absolute brainlets. "Mammon" literally means "wealth" in Aramaic. And don't even get me started on Belial. It's just Hebrew for "worthless," but these absolute mongs in demonology treat it like it's some big bad demon. Fucking kek.

But the Floyd Demon? Now that's some real shit. This eldritch horror makes Cthulhu look like a cute anime girl. So buckle up, buttercup, 'cause we're about to go on a wild ride.

The Floyd Demon Summoning Ritual

• First, you need to get your hands on a MAGA hat. Not just any MAGA hat, but one that's been worn to at least three Trump rallies. The more based sweat, the better.
• Next, draw a pentagram on the floor using liberal tears. If you can't find any (unlikely in this day and age), use soy milk as a substitute.
• Place a rare Pepe meme at each point of the pentagram. And I mean RARE. If you've seen it before, it's not rare enough.
• In the center of the pentagram, put a CRT TV playing Alex Jones videos on loop. The more he talks about gay frogs, the more powerful the summoning.
• Light exactly 4 tiki torches around the pentagram. Why 4? Because 3 is too mainstream and 5 is just trying too hard.
• Now, here's the tricky part. You need to chant the following incantation: "Kek kek, top kek, Floyd Demon rise, make libcucks REEEEE!" Repeat this 69 times (nice).
• As you chant, spin around counterclockwise while dabbing. Yes, dabbing. The Floyd Demon appreciates outdated memes.
• For the final step, you must sacrifice something dear to you. I recommend your waifu body pillow. It's for a good cause, anon.

WARNING: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, MENTION THE WORDS "ELECTORAL COLLEGE" DURING THE RITUAL. THE FLOYD DEMON IS EASILY TRIGGERED BY DISCUSSIONS OF FAIR DEMOCRATIC PROCESSES.

If you've done everything correctly, the Floyd Demon should appear in a cloud of Dorito dust and Mountain Dew vapor. He'll probably ask you "u mad bro?" as his first words. This is a test. Respond with "orange man rad" to gain his respect.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Schizolord420NoScope, why would I want to summon this demon?" Well, let me tell you, the Floyd Demon has the power to make all your memes come true. Literally. Your Wojak comics will become reality. Your Pepes will hop right off the screen. It's like /pol/ and /b/ had a baby, and that baby grew up to be a god.

But be warned, newfriends. The Floyd Demon demands a price for his dank powers. He may ask you to give up your ability to detect sarcasm, or worse, he might turn your life into an endless loop of "We Are Number One" remixes. Are you willing to pay that price? Only the most based among you should even attempt this ritual.

Remember, anons, with great power comes great responsibility to shitpost. Use the Floyd Demon's gifts wisely, and may your memes be ever dank.

This creepypasta is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual demons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author does not endorse the summoning of demons or the excessive use of outdated memes. Please meme responsibly.