Yo, listen up, you absolute wagecucks! It's ya boi, Schizolord420NoScope, comin' at ya with the most based story you'll ever hear. So strap in, you normies, 'cause this tale is gonna make your soyboy brains explode!
It all started back in the day when I cast my vote for the God Emperor himself. MAGA, am I right? But that's not what this story's about, you glowniggers. Nah, this is about something way more cursed.
So there I was, browsing /mu/ like the absolute Chad I am, when I stumbled upon this thread about some new DNB artist called "Floyd's Last Breath." The filename was just "I_cant_breathe.mp3" and let me tell you, my fellow anons, it was the most haunting shit I've ever heard.
The beat was tight, like, tighter than AOC's [REDACTED], you know what I'm sayin'? But there was something off about it. The bassline sounded like it was struggling, gasping for air. And the breaks? They were so choppy, it was like they were being cut off mid-scream.
Now, I ain't no snowflake, but this shit had me shook. I did some digging, 'cause that's what we do, right? And holy shit, you won't believe what I found out.
Turns out, this "Floyd" guy? He ain't just some random producer. Nah, it's George Floyd himself, back from the dead and making the most fire DNB tracks you've ever heard. But here's the kicker: every time someone plays his tracks, they say they feel a pressure on their neck, like they can't breathe.
But you know what's even more fucked up? All these zoomercucks are eating it up! They're all like, "OMG, this new breakcore artist is so lit!" They don't even realize they're listening to the ghostly beats of the dead. Fuckin' posers, man.
I tried to warn 'em, you know? Posted on /x/, /mu/, even fucking /pol/. But they just called me a LARPer and told me to go back to my containment board. Little did they know, the curse was spreading.
More and more of Floyd's tracks started popping up. "Knee on the Beat," "Asphyxiation Anthem," "I Can't Breakcore." And with each new track, more people started reporting weird shit. Feeling short of breath, seeing shadows in their rooms at night, hearing whispers saying "I can't breathe" when they're alone.
But the worst part? The fucking mainstream media picked up on it. Suddenly, Floyd's DNB was everywhere. CNN, Fox News, even fucking NPR was talking about this "revolutionary new sound in electronic music." It was like the whole world had gone mad, and I was the only sane one left.
And then... it happened. The Big Drop. Floyd released his first full album: "Echoes of Suffocation." And let me tell you, it was like nothing you've ever heard before. The beats were so intense, so visceral, it felt like your heart was gonna stop.
People were playing it everywhere. Clubs, cars, even fucking elementary schools. And that's when the real horror began. People started dropping like flies. Clutching their throats, gasping for air, their faces turning blue. The coroners couldn't explain it. No physical cause of death, just... suffocation.
But you know what's the most fucked up part? The more people died, the more popular the music became. It was like some sort of sick, twisted feedback loop. The whole world was dancing to the beat of their own destruction, and they didn't even know it.
So here I am, warning you newfags. Don't listen to Floyd's DNB. Don't even think about it. 'Cause once you hear it, it's already too late. The beat gets in your head, in your blood, in your soul. And before you know it, you'll be gasping for air, wondering why you can't breathe.
Remember, you heard it here first from Schizolord420NoScope. Stay woke, and stay the fuck away from Floyd's DNB of Suffocation. Peace out, you degenerates!